This seriously sucks. My eyes burn from all the crying I've done. Me and Chris got to alking about College and stuff, and I know it's a really long time away, but..Idk He was sayin he was gonna stay here but I mean I wanna go to college and actually do something with my life. But then if we break up..It was all for nothin!!!!!!!! I have fought so hard to keep people from breakin us up.. My mom, people at school, other girls, The whole hope thing, the whole jacob thing, and so much more that I cant even think of! I am so stressed out..Its not even funny. Gah.. He told I have to decide but...I Dont wanna make this decision!! I told him that I could go to Marshall and he said that we can drive back and forth EVERYDAY.. U know how much gas that is AND time? I cant handle that...and he wants to stay here with his dad and I mean.. Idk I am so confused. Why cant he help me with this? He wants me to completely move my schedule around his and I mean..Cant he moves his too so they'll both work? I dont know..I'm tryin not to think about it, ya know? But then it keeps comin up..and I was willing to go through EVERYTHING for him, my mom practically hates me over that. I dont know, I'm just gonna go think and cry some more I guess since its really hard to stop at the moment.

<3 Cece

Last Night was GREAT!! Me and Chris got to go to the mall. I had so much fun. But we also had fun in another way ;) I wont get into detail, but we've went about as far as we could w/o fuckin, haha. I was on the rag, or we would've. I mean, we could've, but that would've been gross. lol. But then we walked around, and laid on the couches for a while and made out. Then we stood outside for a while and I almost fell asleep on him. I had so much fun. I couldnt ask for a better boyfriend.

I LOVE CHRIS LEFTWICH!!!!!

<3
Cece

People suck...

They seriously do.

Thats all I really wanted to say...I'm really not much of a peoples person.

<3
Cece

Lunch was so...awful, as well as the rest of the day. Me and Chris got into it...ugh, I hate fighting with him. We really don't fight that much, but lately we have been ugh! It's so stressful. My hair is fallin out over this I swear. I love him but Idk what to do..Idw talk about it so I'll post later.

I got all kinds of stuff. Mostly art stuff, but I got an mp3, clothes, games, and a brand new computer for my house! Woo! See, now I can actually update this thing more often. Go Me!! Chris got me a really pretty pair of rose earrings for christmas. I feel bad cuz I got him a Trigun Manga..:/ Oh well...he says he likes it. Man, I'm sick today. I feel like shit. I hope i get better before Saturday if I get to go. That wouldn't be a very good impression on Chris's dad if I'm sick! Ugh! I really hope I get to go...I never get to do n e thing with him and I really want it to be special...I mean He's turning 16! I hope Bob and John are going. I mean, I hate using them like that, but everyone knows how my mom is about Chris and I'd never get to go then!! Oh well. I guess I better go.

--Cece